It’s story time! For those who are new here, I have kept a record of Chloe’s and my adventures during our travels! I write and publish these about a year after they happen, for various reasons, but mostly per my grandma’s advice. And I don’t know about you, but you ALWAYS listen to your Grandma’s advice- they know. Here we Go! Brace yourselves, it’s time for an enticing, incredible, thrilling and heart wrenching: A Tail of Chloe Rue (I know its tale, I just can’t help it).
Chloe’s Impression of my First Ever Online Date
I know there are entire blogs about people who talk about their horrible online dating experiences. Honestly, after some of the stories Chloe and I have been through, it makes sense. I DID NOT want to start dating online, but after trying many different approaches to meeting people organically (and not finding anyone single) I opted to just download a free app and see what happened. I’m not kidding about many different approaches either. We tried volunteering at different organizations (Chloe LOVED helping to plant things at the Ecology Institute in Corvallis, and I still love to help their environmentally friendly efforts). We did ocean clean up days, helped with Search and Rescue events, helped at local events. We tried a couple different churches and the small groups they would host. We attended outdoor classes too, hosted by REI or some online finds too. The moral is that it is SO so hard to meet people these days. In the end I tried an online dating app. I am going to use alias names for all men mentioned here to help with their dignity, however Chloe thinks I should use real names as a disclaimer to any and all single folks out there.
My Very First Online Date: Moscow Mule in a CAN
After debating and rethinking, I found myself accepting my very first online date, involving a relaxed walk around a nearby park with a young man definitely not named Moscow. Chloe was welcomed and happy to join! A couple things to know: I definitely took time to look nice for this date. I even steamed my shirt, and straightened my hair. I thought I recognized this young man as someone who I had met at a local juice shop and remembered thinking he seemed nice. We also had conversations about how we both don’t drink and how cool that was. And it was also apparent in our pre-date conversations that we both loved food (that’s not a crack about body image, just definitely relevant to this story to know this man knew I like picnics and am a bit of a foodie.)
I arrived to the park after Moscow had sent a message saying he was there. Noone was there. Confused, I walked around with Chloe for some time, before starting the walk to take photos of some of the more cool bridges that were in this park. It was more than 15 minutes when a man who I did not recognize came walking up to me. Moscow looked NOTHING like his profile picture. (Red flag number one) He was holding a Moscow Mule in a CAN (I should mention, a Moscow Mule is an alcoholic beverage, typically served in a beautiful copper mug- which was part of my confusion as he told me previously he didn’t drink alcohol) with a gas station sandwich and chips in his other hand. That’s right folks he brought one sandwich. And one bag of chips. There was clearly not enough food in hand to share.
Red flag number two (or maybe we’re already up to 10 red flags) was that Moscow did not greet Chloe at all! Despite agreeing to her presence via text, he TOTALLY ignored her which was, by all means, the moment I should have known how badly the rest of the date would go.
We began to walk, and Moscow was talking incessantly. I tried to get a word in edge-wise but no, there was absolutely no room for me to talk, at all.
That wasn’t as concerning as the moment, just minutes into our walk (which was stop-go-stop-go as Moscow felt the need to stop to drink his Moscow Mule in a CAN), when he said, “I need to pee!” Instead of walking back to the main toilet at the front of the park, he chose to walk a short distance to use the bathroom behind a tree. Most unfortunately, this happened TWICE in the less-than-30 minute date.
Chloe was SO confused. Not only did she not get a greeting, but she also could not fathom why this man kept peeing in the woods. That’s what SHE does and she’s a dog! She was not amused.
After the second urinary relief behind a public tree, Chloe and I felt ready to leave. We understood some nervousness may have been happening, so we tried to be nice about it.
But the final straw was shortly before leaving the park. I walked down to the river to take one more picture of the bridge, that we were basically under at this point. It was a beautiful photo. However, Moscow decided to join me standing by the bridge, and proceeded to finish his Moscow Mule in a can. Then, if you can fathom this, he THREW his CAN into the Willamette river.
I made eye contact with him, in the most judemental look I could produce. Chloe, also stunned, judged just as harshly. And that, is when we said, “Nope, I’m done.” And walked back to the truck and left without another word.
More Online dates: Dishwasher Dude
If you can believe it, I gambled another try for online dating after this experience. I had learned a lot, the primary being that the little social media option at the bottom is VERY helpful to know if profile photos are current. If I couldn’t find someone on social media, it just wouldn’t happen unfortunately. I did have a couple great dates, one with a chemical engineer who was likely not a fan of how I engineered my own Hammock stand in a very unstable manner (it still works to this day though!) And another with a super nice physical therapy assistant, who was nice but just didn’t have any special sparks happening.
There was one person I was very interested in after an enticing sunset beach picnic date (food was brought for BOTH parties). However, he was getting out of a complicated relationship (Red Flag number 1). A couple dates in, I found out he had a side job as an exotic dancer. No judgement here, (questioning the red flag number 2?) it did sound like great exercise. Until Red Flag number 3 came up, with the “I dont want anything serious” conversation. Therefore, it did not pan out, and he abruptly moved to New York. It would appear that first dates are definitely not the whole story.
Another date was with someone I named Dishwasher Dude. He was involved in medicine, loved the outdoors, and was born and raised in Oregon. On our second date though, we car pooled to the Newport Aquarium, and he came to pick me up. I had just finished sweeping and he came inside my house to help pick up the little dust piles (which was totally fine!). Until he also began to load my dishwasher. I said not to worry because I had to clean it before loading it. And then, he took out the dishwasher drawers and CLEANED the filter of my dishwasher. Yikes. I was slightly horrified because that’s a rather gross job, not to mention a lengthy job and I wanted to make it to the aquarium before it closed. Bear in mind, this was a pick-me-up car pool situation, where there really wasn’t a plan for him to even come inside. So I mentioned how that was very embarrassing, and basically pushed the young man out the door.
The funniest part was after this, he didn’t feel like we vibed! I was all for not going on more dates but thought it was very funny that my dishwasher horrified him so greatly. (The filter catches a lot of human and dog hair, so it does get rather gross and is definitely not a chore ANYONE wants to do on a date!) It was after this I took a small break from online dating, and didn’t start looking again until after my 29th birthday.
My Last Ever Online Date (Hopefully)
I started talking to a few young men, one of whom stood out to me as he was a wilderness first responder and worked at a veterinarian clinic. Loves the outdoors AND loves dogs? He seemed almost too good to be true, and though I wanted to go out on a date with him, I was adventuring back to the midwest for Thanskgiving. We talked consistently throughout the trip and exchanged numbers and social medias. I was trying not to be too excited, because there were a lot of great things about him, yet as evidenced above, you never really know someone, until you meet them in person.
After I had returned from my Thanksgiving adventure, we met up at The Landing in Salem, which is a food truck/bar joint that just so happened to also be hosting Christmas raffles that night. We talked about traveling, hiking, backpacking and dogs. It felt like talking to a best friend! We cheered for the raffle winners and had a great time looking at Christmas exhibits. We went on a few more dates- a webinar about backcountry skiing, a rainy hike to a waterfall, and a Winter Solstice celebration that included a 5 course meal. Chloe had great vibes about this human, and loved playing with his dog Freyja on our adventures together!
It wasn’t until I took a solo trip to New Mexico, when I realized that this budding relationship might actually be the real deal. No exotic dancing, Moscow mules in a can or unsolicited dishwasher cleanings had occurred to turn me away! In fact, I was so grateful that a man could understand and value solo trips, respecting my independence but also was happy to answer the phone when I binge listened to a podcast about skinwalkers and was slightly afraid of everything in the South West US.
So we went winter backpacking together, followed by an abroad trip to Greece, and then he met my family this summer. Will this be my last online dating story? I sure hope so, as does he. The moral of the story, at least according to Chloe is that she knows best. 😂 Just kidding, Chloe knows that her mom would never settle for someone less than perfect for her.
The Moral of the Story
My advice is to KNOW yourself, before jumping into online dating. It is truly a great way to meet people! The bumble app has a “best friend” feature that allows you to meet friends as well as romantic partners on any traveling adventure. Despite having some pretty horrific dates, online dating opened my perspective to realize there are a LOT of people in the world. People of all cultures, languages, and every single person is hoping to find some human connection, whether it be romantic or friendly. I was SO opposed to dating online for so long. I was determined to wait until I was 30. In hindsight, I was afraid of the bad dates and the awkward situations. I wanted to have a beautiful romantic story for how I met my person; and feared meeting someone online wouldn’t have a story behind it. I still remember at the age 25 someone in Missouri absolutely mocking me for wanting to meet someone organically. Here’s the truth: whatever works for you, when it’s right for you, is what is best for you. And YOU are the best person to know it! Somehow, the online world worked to help me find a couple best friends, and a life partner. I am grateful I took the chance and asked some questions about that Wilderness first responder class!
I hope you all enjoyed this read! Have a happy Thanksgiving, hopefully with a stuffed turkey full of adventures. Stay tuned to my socials for a winter backpacking trip coming soon, as well as Hawaii adventure photos, blowing up my socials everyday! As always, Chloe and I wish you all many happy trails and happy tails.
SUBSCRIBE here if you’re anxiously waiting for your next Chloe Adventure!
Find BarkingEmbarkers on Social Media! You can find us on our
Facebook group, Instagram, or Pinterest Pages. Chloe and I are also now on tiktok!
Check out our brand new Youtube Channel with a PCT “Captains Log” journal right here.
You can also ALWAYS reach out with questions by emailing us at barkingembarkers@gmail.com.
